Social media has exposed people’s raw emotions. There, you will see people being offended by even compliments. But this hastiness to take offence isn’t limited to just social media; it spills over into day-to-day interactions such as traffic, friendships, relationships, and social interactions. The reality is that people will do and say rude, unkind, and disrespectful things because sin exists in the world (Romans 3:9-12, 23), but we have a choice whether to take offence or let it go. To easily take offence at hurtful words and deeds traditionally leads to anger and other responses that enthral the desires of the flesh instead of glorifying God with our bodies, even in those moments. Hence, how can we, as Christians, learn to overlook offences? The following are helpful pointers one can consider to grow in this area.
Don’t Think Too Highly of Yourself
A statement that slanders, touches our vulnerabilities or shames us can awaken bitterness in our hearts. It is easy to commit sinful acts of violence in such a situation. However, we’re told in scripture to love our neighbours (Matthew 22:39 and our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). Whether a neighbour or an enemy says or does something hurtful, we’re commanded to love them. The book of Romans reminds us that grace has been given to all believers in Christ and that we should not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to (Romans 12:3). Thinking too highly of ourselves makes our egos too fragile. This is why getting offended by the most innocent acts or remarks is very easy. The solution, thinking less of ourselves, helps us love others better by considering their interest above our own (Philippians 2:3-4). Thinking less of myself doesn’t mean having lowly negative thoughts about myself. Instead, it means that with humility, I should desire to bless others (Philippians 2:3) and love them instead of selfishly seeking my best interests out of any situation. This humble attitude will lead to a more steady mental state that isn’t easily offended. Therefore, we can safely say that humility is a crucial remedy for a heart that doesn’t easily take offence.
Romans 12:3 says that for the grace given to us, we should not think more highly of ourselves. Remember, you were once a sinner who sinned deeply against God (Ephesians 2:1-3, Romans 5:10), yet God was merciful and gracious enough to save you (Ephesians 2:4-9). Recalling the wretch I was in my past before God’s saving grace reached out to me should lead me to a place of humility and, hence, able to show more grace to others. Further, Ephesians 4:32 tells me that I am to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to others as God in Christ has forgiven me. The fact that God showed me grace despite my sinfulness should empower me to be tenderhearted and kind instead of getting easily offended.
Don’t Be Overcome with Evil
Romans 12:17-21 shows us how to deal with an enemy. It says that we’re not to repay evil for evil (Romans 12:17), to strive for peace (Romans 12:18), to not avenge ourselves (Romans 12:19) and to provide for their needs (Romans 12:20). If someone says or does something harsh to you, pray that your first instinct would be to leave it to God and let him avenge it (Romans 12:19). Taking offence quickly will many times tempt us to avenge our offenders because even though we are Christian, we still have indwelling sin. Scripture promises that God will avenge evil (Hebrews 10:30, Deuteronomy 32:35, Psalm 94:1, 1 Thessalonians 4:6). If it is true that God avenges evil then this should be our comfort not to be overcome by evil and take offence (Romans 12:21). Further if God avenges evil then I am free to love my enemies allowing God to do what only he is wise enough to do (Romans 12:20).
In addition, if someone sins against you and you opt not to take offence or strive to harm them back, scripture teaches that you will obtain a blessing (1 Peter 3:9). It says that those who don’t take offence and withhold their tongues from evil will love their lives and see good days (1 Peter 3:10). Believers who choose to overlook offences and seek peace will have the eyes of the Lord on them, the ears of the Lord open to their prayers, and the face of the Lord against those who do evil (1 Peter 3:11-12). Instead of always seeking to highlight people’s offences against you, let us rejoice because a blessing is available. Focus on joy as opposed to offence.
A biblical example of someone who endured offence and persisted in doing good was the woman in Luke 7:36-50. Scripture calls her a sinful woman (Luke 7:37), but because of her faith, Jesus ultimately forgave her sin (Luke 7:48-50). Simon, the Pharisee who invited Jesus to eat at his house, started thinking awful things about the woman (Luke 7:39) and began verbally scolding her (Mark 14:4-5). However, the woman was so focused on Jesus and in need of his redeeming love that she kept crying while washing and kissing his feet and anointing him with expensive oil (Luke 7:44-46). She didn’t pay attention to the insults. She just focused on worshipping Jesus. She was satisfied with the grace and mercy she found in Christ, and no offence would move her. As a result of her great show of faith, Jesus told her to “go in peace” (Luke 7:50) and that “wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the world, what she has done will be told in memory of her” (Mark 14:9). The woman received a blessing of peace and legacy as a result of her focus on the glory of Jesus as opposed to taking heed of the disapproving words of those around her.
The Example of Christ
To not take offence is to imitate Jesus Christ. Whenever Jesus was reviled, he did not revile back (1 Peter 2:23). Whenever the crowds screamed to crucify him (Matthew 27:22-23), and the Roman soldiers mocked him (Matthew 27:27-31), he did not threaten them (1 Peter 2:24). Instead he prayed, “Father forgive them” (Luke 23:34). Jesus did not take offence and fire back at the crowds or the Romans while on the cross. Instead, he forgave them and entrusted himself to the Father who judges justly (1 Peter 2:24). Let us be like Jesus and not take offence easily, for that is how a lost and dying world will marvel and say, “Surely this must be the Son of God” (Matthew 27:54). We glorify God whenever we overlook offences and freely offer love and forgiveness. This should not be interpreted to mean that we are to be door mats, stepped on and hurt while silent. Rather, we are to seek wise and biblical models of handling consistent patterns of offence, which are readily available in God’s word.
Above all, we must rest in the fact that as children of God, our identity is well secure in our Father. With this truth well-defined in our hearts, it will be easy for us to not think too highly of ourselves, not to be overcome with evil and look up to the example of Christ. May the word of God remain our ever-firm encouragement to overlook offence.