We live in a society full of pressure to perform and be the best. From pre-school, people are taught always to pursue being the best both in academics and sports. There is no room for second place. Often, the top students get recognition. We are not saying there should be a carefree attitude towards performance. We all have values and standards to attain. Life is progressive and, without request, competitive. Therefore, we must all be ready to engage in such spaces. It is also evident at work, where we’re given targets to hit at the end of the year lest we lose our jobs. Promotions and better pay are left for those who score highly in their performance. There is seemingly no room for failure.
Neema, a young lady I interacted with, was very sharp, consistently hitting her targets and getting the best grades. She passed with flying colours throughout high school, even in her final exams. Things started well when she went to campus until this one unit caught her off guard. She failed the unit and had to redo the whole thing. The news of her performance left her crushed and stressed. “How can I fail like this?” She kept asking herself. “
The truth is that we live in an unpredictable world and that notwithstanding, we are humans at best, therefore susceptible to failure (Romans 3:23). The issue is not so much if we shall fail but rather how to handle failure when it comes our way (Proverbs 24:16).
Acknowledge the Failure
The story of David in the Bible (2 Samuel 11:1-27) well reinforces the reality of failure, even among spiritual and committed men. God had already declared that David was a man after his own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). Yet, we see him fall into sin by sleeping with another man’s wife and even planning for the murder of her husband (2 Samuel 11:15). God never overlooks the sin but punishes David for it (2 Samuel 12:1-14) and takes the child. The good thing about David is that at the point of rebuke, he acknowledges that he has failed and sinned against God. Some failures may not necessarily be moral and may not call for repentance or punishment. Whatever failure we experience, it is crucial to admit it has happened. We cannot continue crying over spilt milk because we cannot put it back in the cup or container. However, we can wipe it and hopefully get another packet of milk.
Many of us needlessly beat ourselves up for the failures we experience, thinking that self-persecution will help get the feeling out and get us back on track. It doesn’t usually work that way. I have had to deal with the consequences of thinking that I must beat myself up before I get on track. What this does is it breaks you slowly inside and makes you have very self-defeating thoughts and ideas. We are our worst hindrance to growth because no one can stop us from making the choices we need to make. The first important choice is to agree that we have failed, even though it may not be pleasant. The best medicine for failure is realizing that we must always focus on moving forward (Philippians 3:113b-14). Failure is natural to man, and the sooner we admit it, the better for us.
Evaluate the Circumstances Surrounding the Failure
Secondly, after acknowledging the failure, we must reflect on the journey that led us there. There may have been things we overlooked that were important for our guidance. We may have had so much confidence in ourselves that we forgot to heed the warning signs. Whether in academics or the workplace, there are probably things we ignored: studies, assignments, projects, and deadlines, which would have sharpened us more and prepared us for the work or examination. Morally, David (2 Samuel 11), for instance, was at the wrong place at the wrong time and, therefore, found himself in a bad situation. Life doesn’t always give us this opportunity to reflect and make changes, for some failures are fatal and/ or have very numbing and stifling effects. Consider Achan (Joshua 6-7) in the wilderness; he took some contraband for himself and hid it in his tent. When the LORD came demanding cleansing- after a specific plague had ravished the camp- Achan was found out and had to be put to death. He did not have time to reconsider his moral failing and move on, which is not always the case!
There are usually things that precede failure, and if we are careful, we can look back, evaluate ourselves and see what bricks were out of place that made the building weak and vulnerable. This introspection aims to pick up some lessons and work on a way forward. At this point, we may need to repent (1 John 1:8-9), which involves admitting our wrongs and moving on from our transgressions. Jesus told the Church in Ephesus (Revelation 2:5) to remember where they have fallen, evaluate what happened and repent. Failure is not final. If we train ourselves to look back and draw lessons, the journey ahead might be the most fulfilling since we will not be starting from scratch but with lessons at hand.
Consider God’s Plan Beyond your Failure
As believers, we are to be confident that our lives, including the bad days, are all knit in God’s good plan (Ephesians 2:10). God does not see us in the confines of our failures. He has seen our lives before, during, and after birth (Psalm 139:16). Whenever we fail, may we remember that God’s plans for us do not take a pause because we have failed. When we return to him in repentance, God can bring us back on track and cause us to walk in the newness of life. Remember Adam and Eve, who sinned against God in the beginning? Despite them being kicked out of the Garden of Eden, God still accomplished his plan for them (Genesis 3 onwards). Samson failed many times. Yet, at the end of the day, when he reached out to God, God still used him amidst his failings, and he conquered the Philistines (Judges 13-16).
What is God’s plan? God plans to sanctify us (Ephesians 1:4-5) and cause us to walk in the ways he has set out for us (Ephesians 2:10). Failure may make one feel as if they have missed out on God’s plans, perhaps because of the guilt that comes with it. The truth is failure exists to remind us to rely on God; apart from him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). When we fail, turning to God as our only source of dependence brings hope for tomorrow. It can help us realize that failure is not the end of the road as long as God is involved. It is the perfect case of a tree cut down and sprouting again (Job 14:7-9).
Rely on God’s Grace to Move On
Another thing we must do when we fall short is to rely on God’s grace to meet his expectations. When Paul was hard-pressed due to limitations (2 Corinthians 12:9), God assured him that grace would be sufficient in his weakness. It is the same thing we must believe when we fail. We should look beyond our inabilities and see that God can take us through it all by his grace. When we rely on God’s grace, we acknowledge that we do not have what it takes to move on but know who to turn to. Instead of beating ourselves up, we should focus on what God has provided for our progress.
Start by immersing yourself in Scriptures that remind you of God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 5:1-2, Titus 2:11-12). Reflect on these scriptures and other examples of people who experienced God’s grace, like the prodigal son (Luke 15). Secondly, pray often and ask God for specific help in the things you are battling to overcome (Philippians 4:6-7). Thirdly, lean on the Holy Spirit to guide your next steps and provide wisdom. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of the promises of God so that you are empowered to live a victorious life. Fourthly, live in gratitude and appreciate the help God provides in whatever ways he has revealed himself during your journey. Lastly, pursue a life of obedience and trust in God to sustain you (Philippians 2:13).
Make the Necessary Steps Forward
Finally, come up with some practical steps, depending on the issue you are dealing with. Ask yourself if there are things you need to adopt or drop, attitudes you need to embrace or release, or people you need to engage or cut off. Whatever steps you take, remember it is not so much about how big the steps are but how consistent and manageable they are. Remember that God will strengthen you for the journey (Isaiah 41:10).
Remember, failure is normal and common to all men and women. No one is exempted from failure. Therefore, we should never look at it as though it is unique to us. When we fail, we must remind ourselves that it is not the end of the road and that, in Christ, we have an opportunity to rise again and walk in his fullness and victory. Arise!
