When we come to faith in Christ and begin to see evident growth, we sometimes get tempted to be conceited, especially when we compare ourselves with others who seem more sinful. It is like a person who, after years of longing for a car, finally acquires one and immediately turns to despising those without one.
From the life of the apostle Paul, there is much to glean that would greatly help us in our fight against conceit. His radical conversion is evident to us all (Acts 9:1-9), but his humility afterward is even more worthy of consideration.
Saul, the Accomplished Man
As his former self, Saul, Paul had a very illustrious past as a high-ranking Pharisee. His credentials were impossible to ignore, some of which he lists in Philippians 3. By birth, he was a Benjamite, from the people of Israel, the chosen nation. He was circumcised on the eighth day, keeping with the God-given requirement stated in Genesis 17:12. As it were, Saul started life privileged. Moreover, as regards the law given to the Jews, he was a Pharisee. So zealous was he for the law that he became an enforcer of the same. Why? Because, as far as he was concerned, he was blameless under the law.
So when it came to the supposed heretics popularly known as the people of The Way (or Christians), no one could rival Saul’s disdain for them. He persecuted, jailed, and had them killed. He watched with approval, for example, when Stephen was being stoned (Acts 7-8). How accomplished, indeed, Saul must have felt in the eyes of men.
And how accomplished some of us would be considered, with enough ‘good’ things to be proud of. Born perhaps in a Christian home, to parents who held rank in the church? Your family, by any standard, was stable. Your memorable failure was perhaps only missing a VBS (Vacational Bible School) or a youth camp. You have never smoked, abused alcohol, engaged in illicit sex, or been a social deviant in any way. You are an accomplished person. There is nothing anyone could dig from your past that could taint your name. And, with a zeal like Paul’s, albeit more civilly executed, you’ve made it your aim to keep any morally compromised persons from representing the Church of God.
Saul, the Sanctified Man
There was a moment when Saul, to his great astonishment, would watch his every accomplishment crumble. On his way to Damascus (Acts 9:1-9), the Lord would appear to him, strike him blind, and in the blindness of his human eyes, bring him to terms with the wretchedness of his own soul. No experience had ever been more humbling to him. Suddenly, he was no longer the man of accomplishments, but a broken man, passionate for one thing alone–preaching the grace he received (Acts 9:22). By the time he writes to his beloved disciple Timothy (1 Timothy 1:15), he is gripped with the truth of why Jesus came: he came to save sinners, of whom Paul declares himself chief. Just two verses prior, he describes himself as a persecutor, a blasphemer, and an insolent man (vs. 13). He no longer regards himself as accomplished, but rather as sanctified; a man washed by the blood of God’s Son. He now views himself from God’s perspective.
And oh how you and I need a similar shift in perspective! You see, when Saul transformed into Paul, he saw himself in light of God’s holiness and grace; he could only conclude that his standards were useless, as were his former pursuits in life (Philippians 3:7-9). He who once considered others as wretches, in view of God’s grace, reckoned himself as worse than all. So floored was he by the patience God had shown to him while he had been ignorant that the only words he could muster were, “I am the worst of them all.”
Paul, the Apologetic Man
The Damascus experience birthed a different man altogether. The man who once bayed for the blood of believers was now calling men to believe. He who once troubled the people of The Way now stood on the frontline, heralding this same Way. Indeed, the grace of our Lord overflowed for him with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 1:14). Murderous Saul had become the unstoppable Paul, traveling through the regions of the Gentiles with but one message: “Christ came to save sinners, of whom I am the worst.” The reality of Paul’s newness (2 Cor. 5:17-19) is what anchored him as an apologist; a man not ashamed of the gospel (Romans 1:16). Indeed, the worst of men, when they fall in the palm of God’s grace, become the boldest of all.
Paul’s self-assessment as the worst among sinners is not born of self-pity, but is a result of his seeing the Lord for all he really is, the world for what it really is, and other sinners for who they really are in Christ. Realizing that grace has been extended to us fuels our passion for mission and ministry, and, like Paul, causes us to boast in nothing else but the grace of God. Our boast is not momentary, but continues to our last breath, for none of us ever fully attains to the grace of God while we live; rather, like Paul, we press on towards the upward mark of God’s calling (Philippians 3:12-16).
We each are a work in progress. Do not boast of the progress the grace of God, not your strength, has attained, nor despair over struggles the grace of God, not your strength, will overcome. The very God who ransomed Saul will ransom you and me too, for his glory!