In the past years, as I have read the Bible, the book of Job has always stood out to me. This year was no different. Job’s friends (Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar) strike me the most, especially because of what they said to Job. Their statements were theologically sound and should be used when the situation calls for it. There lies the kicker: when the situation calls for it. They were factual statements that were misapplied to Job. It is accurate, as they point out, that God will punish the wicked (Job 8:22, 11:20). However, we know Job wasn’t suffering because he was wicked. He was suffering because “there [was] none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” (Job 1:8)
Mind you, those were God’s thoughts concerning Job and not some random person’s. Satan wanted to test that and was allowed to, but he couldn’t kill him (Job 2:6). Therefore, Job’s friends had no warrant to paint him as wicked. Not only that, but their accusations did more harm than good. Their accusations made Job question God to the point that God himself had to intervene in Job 38. However, they also caused him to try to justify himself unrighteously. The question is, might you be like Job’s friends in particular situations? Do you wrongly misapply advice, positively or negatively, causing others to go down a path they ought not to? My hope and aim with this article is to help diagnose whether you might be and offer some helpful insights to encourage us to be good Gospel counsellors.
Misapplied Counsel
One might ask themselves, weren’t these supposed to be Job’s friends? How could it be that instead of helping him navigate through his suffering, they were the ones piling the pressure? Maybe they thought that they were being good friends. However, if they were, then unless Job had a boatload of sins, they should have given him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he had God’s approval (Job 1:8, 2:3). That should stand to reason that his life was exemplary even in the eyes of men. However, they don’t see that; instead, they stamp Job as wicked. They, however, proved helpful when they wept with Job and stayed silent with him for seven days (Job 2:11-13). There is a reason God rebukes them in Job 42:7-9.
However, more often than not, we are Job’s friends. When we think we are saying something profound to a friend as advice, we end up giving them undue emotional and spiritual burdens. Sometimes, it may not even be purposeful when your comment sounds snide to someone else. The reason might be that you don’t fully understand what they are going through, something that Job’s friends didn’t get. However, just like them, we are usually not as quick to understand what they are going through as we are to speak. Thus, instead of helping their specific situation, we say misapplied truths that don’t encourage. Or, we may, just like Job’s friends, say very generic Christian jargon without specifying how it should be applied.
Remember, the point is to be sympathetic, but one similar to Christ. Christ is the sympathetic high priest because he faced life’s turmoil in every way (Hebrews 4:14-16). I am not saying that you have to suffer as they have suffered. Instead, as I will delve into later, you must have more than just baseline knowledge of what they are going through. If you don’t, and you aren’t close enough to get it, then still find a way to understand them before giving any counsel.
Effects of Misapplication
It is very easy to say something good and true at the wrong time; this can have very adverse effects, like empowering your counselee to follow the path of sin or losing their trust in God. Job, for instance, spiralled further down in his state of dejection whenever his friends accused him of being the worst. Instead of wholeheartedly looking to God, his Savior, he questioned him. For example, after Bildad said that Job should repent in Job 8, Job said that he believed God was crushing him without cause and was filling him with bitterness (Job 9:17-18). Job’s friends didn’t encourage him to find any hope in his suffering except for little pockets by Job himself (Job 19:25; 23:10).
This is a clear case of how misapplied counsel can affect others. It is for this reason that Paul said it would be better for mature Christians to forgo certain liberties to help others and not sin (Romans 14:20-23, 1 Corinthians 8:9-13). The context of the two verses isn’t about advice, but I am using them to show that we can be stumbling blocks to fellow saints, even in matters counselling. May we not cause our counselees to regard their affliction as God-inflicted punishment when their suffering is probably for their good (Job 23:10, Romans 8:28). Therefore, dear saint, let not your counsel be a stumbling block to one who needs uplifting.
Changing Tact
The question, even for me, is how do we do it differently? Thankfully, Scripture has answers for us.
Firstly, we must learn what not to do from Job’s friends. The statement ‘those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it’ comes to mind here. Avoid having the attitude that Job’s friends had. After all, in the end, they did need the same Job to help them get right with God (Job 42:7-9). In short, their way is the wrong approach.
Instead, learn from the ultimate counsellor, Jesus Christ. An almost exact contrast is given to us in John 9. Jesus didn’t give any advice as he healed the blind man. However, we see an approach we should emulate. When the disciples asked Jesus if the blind man was born blind due to his parents’ sins, Jesus replied that it was so the glory of God could be revealed. To cut the long story short, by the end of John 9, the blind man not only saw but believed in Jesus (John 9:35-37). May we emulate Christ’s loving attitude here.
Another example comes from 1 Peter 4:12-19, where we see a clear example of good gospel counsel. Peter shows us the aim of suffering, not just for God’s people but also for those who aren’t. Peter understood why the Christians in the Dispersion were suffering, and he sought to turn their gaze toward Christ instead of focusing on the evil they faced (1 Peter 3:9-22).
Ultimately, being a good gospel counselor isn’t just about understanding what our friends or counselees are going through. It is more about where we are pointing them to. Depending on the situation, doing so may require pointed applications and rebukes. Even so, may your counsel be such that it may yank one from sinking further into the hole of despondency and, better yet, raise their gaze to the hope that never fails in Jesus Christ.