There is a clear command for believers in Ephesians 4:30: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19 puts it this way: “Do not quench the Spirit.” These two verses seem to emphasize the responsibility of believers not to grieve the Holy Spirit. So, how can one grieve the Holy Spirit?
All Believers Have the Spirit
It is vital to first state that all true Christians have the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:9, 1 Corinthians 12:13). Romans 8:9 says that “Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him”, meaning that if you don’t have the Holy Spirit, you are not born again. Also, 1 Corinthians 12:13 states, “For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.” So, every Christian receives the Holy Spirit upon salvation.
What is to Grieve the Spirit?
When we look at the final parts of Ephesians 4, we see a lot of commands on how believers are to treat others (Ephesians 4:25-32). This portion of scripture well expounds on what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 4:25 commands believers to put away falsehood and speak the truth with their neighbour. Therefore, if someone lies to their neighbour, they are grieving the Holy Spirit. In Ephesians 4:26-27, we see the issue of anger coming up. Getting angry with someone and not dealing with the anger issue before the sun goes down (Ephesians 4:26) can easily allow the devil to tempt you into sin (Ephesians 4:27). If you allow anger to fester, so much so that it leads you to sin by any means, then you’re grieving the Holy Spirit.
Stealing from your neighbour or doing dishonest work also grieves the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:28). And so does corrupt talk that does not build someone up or give grace to them; this includes insults, gossip, slander (Ephesians 4:31), wrath, clamour and malice.
How to Bring Joy to the Spirit
The opposite of grieving the Spirit is to bring him joy. According to Ephesians 4:30, I can bring the Holy Spirit joy by relating well with my neighbours, telling the truth (Ephesians 4:25), dealing with my anger quickly (Ephesians 4:27), being generous (Ephesians 4:28), and using grace-filled speech (Ephesians 4:29). Not only that, but I will also delight the Spirit inside of me by being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving as God in Christ forgave me (Ephesians 4:32). Living my life in this manner is a sign of growing into the likeness of God who is righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24). Bringing joy to the Spirit is not just a duty for us, it’s a sign that we are truly saved or as Paul writes, it shows that we are “sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:30).
How to Quench the Spirit
Paul, in the book of 1 Thessalonians, says we’re not to “quench the Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 5:19), which is the same as not grieving the Spirit in Ephesians 4:30. Examining 1 Thessalonians 5:19 will give us further insights on what it means to grieve or quench the Spirit.
- Disrespecting Leaders – 1 Thessalonians 5:12 says we must respect church leaders, such as pastors, elders, and deacons. Whenever they “admonish you” (1 Thessalonians 5:12) or rebuke you for sinning, don’t resist them for speaking the truth (1 Thessalonians 5:13). Don’t disrespect your pastor just because he has called out your sin; that would grieve the Holy Spirit.
- Calling Out Sin with Contempt– Paul, in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, tells his readers to admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with all of them. The idle, fainthearted, and weak can be annoying, challenging, and energy-draining people to deal with. Still, we’re called to be patient with them, encouraging them to honour the Lord, stop being idle and fainthearted, and not complain about weakness. In other words, call out fellow Christians for their sin, but with compassion and patience.
- Having a Bad Attitude – Complaining, lacking joy and gratitude grieves the Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). In other words, your attitude matters to the Spirit. Despite the tribulations we may face, we must remind ourselves to rejoice for the fact that we know the Lord as our Savior. Believers in Christ are not to be grumpy people but joyful people.
- Despising Prophecies – There is not a lot of historical understanding as to what Paul means about not despising prophecies (1 Thessalonians 5:20). Still, we know that a true prophecy is a word from God, and to despise it would be to reject God himself. If someone stands up and says a prophetic word, scripture teaches us to “test everything” and to “hold fast to what is good” and reject that which does not align with scripture (1 Thessalonians 5:21, 1 Corinthians 14:37-38). Most of the prophetic words we hear today are laced with false health and wealth promises that are, in fact, antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The believers of such “prophecies” treat the words of these false prophets as though they hold a cosmic power to overcome all challenges while guaranteeing immense blessings in life. Prophecies like these are unbiblical and wouldn’t meet the standard of 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22. Prophecies that the Spirit wants us to honour are those that would point us to the truth of scripture and encourage us to live in obedience to God’s word (1 Thessalonians 5:21).
When you consider all of these commands in light of not quenching the Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:19), it is clear that whenever we fail to love our neighbours the way that Jesus desires (John 13:34), the Spirit within us is not pleased. If you’re holding onto bitterness and anger, stop grieving the Spirit and forgive your neighbour at the earliest (Ephesians 4:32). If you’re slandering, lying, doing dishonest business, or insulting others, stop grieving the Spirit and repent your sins quickly. If you have a terrible attitude, disrespect your leaders, do not call out sin patiently, or despise prophecy, repent today! Repentance brings the Father and, of course, the Spirit joy (Luke 15:6-7, 10, 21-24). Walk in the Spirit’s wisdom and grace to help you love your neighbour as Christ desires, and you will bring God much delight (John 14:26, 15:26, Galatians 5:16, 22-23).
