Growing up as a church kid in Kenya, you learn certain verses. You sing them from a very early age; they become ingrained in you. There’s a possible downside, however. One can become too familiar with scriptural truths, leading to the loss of their God-intended meaning. Ephesians 6:1-3 is such a text; it encourages children to honor their parents in the Lord, for this is right.
The word honor in this text has been mistaken to mean only obedience. Yes, it includes obedience, but also the main sense of it is from Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16. Moses is giving this command in line with their current state. The Lord will provide them with a land, and by the time they arrive, their parents will be old. As a command, the children are to take care of their parents’ well-being in their old age in the land that God will give them. Not only is obedience necessary, but so is caring for the welfare of your parents as they age.
It is sad to visit our rural homes and, even today, see an old, bent man or woman working to fend for themselves, as if they had never had children in their youth. Psalm 127:3-5 reminds us that children are a heritage from the Lord. Having them is like having a warrior who has filled his quiver with arrows; he is neither ashamed nor afraid to go out. God gave you to your parents so that you can be a blessing and a relief to them in their weakness. God blessed your parents through you so that they may not be ashamed and live a whole life with the pride of their children. Have you brought shame or a curse to your parents? Are your parents living as if they never had a child?
You Cannot Honor God if You Do Not Honor your Parents
The command to honor our parents is key because it underpins the honor we owe to God. Firstly, if you honor God, you must honor father and mother. God commands us to honor our parents; therefore, we must honor them. If we do not, we are children of disobedience—children of wrath (Ephesians 2:1-3). Secondly, anyone who honors father and mother in the Lord will almost always honor God. Even if you are not a believer, you are on the way to being one, since father and/or mother will likely show you the right path. Also note that the charge is to honor your parents in the Lord. This means that you should consider care for your parents’ physical, emotional, and mental needs as the Lord would approve it.
Honor Parents Regardless
Even though your parents may not be Christians, caring for them is not an option but a command from God. The scripture does not encourage you to honor only your good Christian parents. Whether he be a drunkard, she be a prostitute, they are drag traffickers, rich, poor, hero, villains, or the most immoral parents on earth, honor them in Christ. Honoring your parents in Christ means that while honoring them, whatever you do should only be that which is holy and in accordance with God’s standard. May you not be found dishonoring your parents just because they are not the kind of parents you would want to have for yourself. God brought you into the world through them; be grateful that you have a parent who is alive. Do not despise your parent, especially in their old age (Proverbs 23:22).
My dad is a drunkard and was abusive to my mom all our lives. My mom is a drama queen; she is not easy to be around, but I am grateful to have both of them as my parents. I would not choose any other parents for myself. Because of my mom, I came to know the Lord, and because of my dad, I learned how to develop a good work ethic. I love them so much, and though I may fail sometimes, I desire to honor them. Think about your mom and dad; a critical look at them would lead you to choose not to honor them, to abandon them, and move on with your life without them. Others are also overly grateful for their parents, yet, as good as they are, that’s not enough to honor them. We honor our parents because God has commanded us, and God’s laws are profitable and sweet to our souls (Psalms 19). Let us therefore be motivated to honor our parents because it pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20).
The Only Commandment with a Promise
Honoring parents in the Lord comes with a promise from God. The promise is that it may go well with us and that we may live long in the land (Ephesians 6:3). One of the ways of succeeding in the land is to respect authority. The first authority God has given us from birth is our parents.
Mother and Father are the first examples of authority for us. Honoring them will translate into an ease in honoring the government of the land. Anyone who lives on the right side of the law of the land rarely fails in life; they tend to learn to be content and work hard to grow themselves and those around them. Imagine if just 50% of Kenyans respected the laws of Kenya. How successful this land would be.
Let’s thus honor our parents, especially in their old age. Let’s care for them and love them, for this is pleasing to the Lord. To some, this might mean sending monthly support; to others, it might mean bringing your parents and living with them; to others, it might mean building them a house. Whatever that may be, let not your parent suffer; you can help them, no matter how small, that is a blessing to them. Contend for God’s blessings, and one way to be blessed with success wherever you are is by obeying God’s command to honour your parents. If it isn’t for their sake that you honor them, do it for God’s sake.