Handling Rejection

Each of us desires to be loved and accepted, especially by those who matter to us. If our parents, pastors, close friends, or employers despise and reject us, it can hurt deeply. At such times, we may begin to struggle with our emotions, thoughts, self-esteem, and self-worth. One can feel so crushed in spirit, and many people struggle to recover from rejection. What are some of the insights from the scriptures on bouncing back after rejection?   

Why Do We Suffer Rejection?

1. Our struggle with sin (Galatians 5:19-20): The first thing we need to address is the sinful lifestyle that we have embraced. One of the causes of rejection is living a lifestyle that does not match the values of those who matter to us. Suppose the people you desire acceptance from embrace godliness, and what defines you are the sins mentioned in Galatians 5:19-20 of sexual immorality, characterized by indulgence in alcoholism and drugs, witchcraft, hatred, jealousy, discord, anger, selfishness, among others. In that case, rejection in that context is inevitable.
2. Living in a sinful world (1 John 2:15-17): The lust of the flesh, of the eyes, and the pride of life have characterized our world. People will do anything to realize their selfish goals. James 4:2-3 informs us that selfishness is the root cause of murder and other societal vices. The world does not care about what matters to you, but only to itself. Many people live by the same principle of selfishness; therefore, rejection is among the things you should expect in this world.
3. Rejection for standing for the truth (Daniel 6:1-5): Personal beliefs and values can also cause one to be rejected. You could be a Christian who loves God and seeks to honor him, and as a result, you may face rejection. Evil people would not welcome the upright, as they would feel judged by their own practices. This is where you suffer for being a Christian, and Jesus calls us to rejoice in it (1 Peter 4:12-13; Romans 5:3-10).
4. Childhood trauma: This psychological trait, often linked to past experiences like childhood neglect or abuse, makes individuals highly attuned to possibilities of rejection. Such traumas may cause some to be highly sensitive to rejection.
5. Interpersonal dynamics: Our inability to handle conflicts, poor communication skills, and disagreements on values can lead to either absolute rejection or perceived rejection, resulting in emotional distress, social withdrawal, and even increased rejection sensitivity. 

Biblical Examples of The Rejected

As a Christian, you are bound to suffer rejection. Don’t ever think you are the first in this battle. In the scriptures, we find many examples of individuals in the family of God who suffered rejection, yet God ensured that their suffering was not in vain.   

1. Our Savior, Jesus: Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, suffered rejection from his people (John 1:12). They rejected the Good News and killed him. However, this only led to them fulfilling the prophecies and God’s purpose of saving his own from the power of sin and death.
2. Joseph (Genesis 37:25-28): The brothers rejected and sold Joseph because of his dreams, which were given to him by God. At times, due to our faith, we may encounter similar responses from our families. It does hurt a lot when the people we rely on for our central social support system reject us. Even in such situations, God remains sovereign as he orchestrates everything to serve his purpose. Joseph saved the world of his day from famine, and even those who once hated him appreciated his God-given wisdom.    
3. Prophets: The prophets in Scripture were rejected and tortured for speaking the truth to people whose ears preferred only to hear what they wanted to hear.
4. Jephthah (Judges 11:1-12:7): His family rejected him due to his illegitimate birth. His mother was a prostitute, and his father had other sons. He was denied his inheritance by his brothers and forced to leave his home. Jephthah’s story is one that many in Africa can relate to, where property matters and families will often sell each other short for inheritance. God, however, restored Jephthah, and he ultimately became the leader of the same people who had previously rejected him.     

How To Handle Rejection

1. Turn to Christ: If you are being rejected for living a sinful lifestyle, consider Christ. Jesus is the only remedy to sin that man has (Romans 3:21-26). He is the one who became sin so that we might be the righteousness of God in him (2 Corinthians 5:21). Do you want to be fully accepted in God’s family? If yes, believe in Christ and set your mind on him. With this, you will become an everlasting member of God’s family (Romans 8:12-17).
2. Appreciate God’s sovereign rule: Nothing in this world happens as a surprise to God. As we have seen in the above segment, God has always made all things work out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). We can rely on God as we grow to appreciate that nothing goes unnoticed by him. Even when we face the pain of rejection, we can trust that God is working for our good, even when we cannot see it. We must trust his sovereign rule at all times.  
3. Find a support group: This can help you process your feelings and thoughts. You will have a platform to talk out your battles and fears. A support system can include close friends, family members, pastors, small groups, and even individuals who have experienced similar challenges. When Peter was in prison, the church, his support system, earnestly prayed for him (Acts 12:5). Their prayers were answered.
4. Seek Counsel: The bible encourages us to surround ourselves with many counselors (Proverbs 11:4). In life, there will always be times that overwhelm us emotionally and mentally. Counselors can play a significant role in those times. It’s especially beneficial to establish connections with such supportive people, even before encountering difficult times.
5. Focusing on building resilience: One thing that most of us fail to do is to develop a mind that appreciates pain and pursues growth even in difficult times. We must be intentional and understand that things will not always work out as we desire. Pain is an inevitable part of life in this fallen world. As we navigate the difficulties of this life, let’s cultivate a positive attitude, knowing that God glorifies himself through both good and evil. We should ask ourselves what God is teaching us in difficult times, as Paul did in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9.
6. Avoid stagnation:  Even as we journey towards eternity, we must remember that the process matters as much as the outcome. God is working in us through all seasons of life, making us into the image of his Son to fulfill his purposes here, even as he prepares us for our eternal destination (Romans 5:3-10).

In summary, acknowledging the reality of rejection will put us in a better position to overcome its impact. For now, let us prayerfully prepare for such seasons. For those currently facing unjust rejection, may God vindicate and bring you justice quickly.