Death visits every family at one point. “The more we are in a family,” one Zambian man said in a comfort service, “the more deaths and burials we have to deal with.” Everyone alive today will have to deal with the loss of loved ones–that is, if their loved ones won’t have dealt with losing them (Ecclesiastes 9:2, Hebrews 9:27, Psalm 89:48). What, then, should we do so that in the time of mourning, our hearts remain tethered to truth? One thing we are called to do is to be strong in the Lord (Psalm 46:1-3, 119:28).
In this article, I will use the acronym S.T.R.O.N.G., drawn from the word “strong,” to help anchor our hearts in the place of receiving God’s ministry during times of loss and grief.
S- SURRENDER
When death comes our way, it brings a sense of hopelessness and pain that may seem eternal. The pain will surely last for a while, but it won’t last forever. God will eventually restore our souls (Psalm 23:3). To experience this restoration ministry from the Lord, we must learn how to surrender our burdens to him. Jesus called all those who are weary and heavily laden to give him their burdens (Matthew 11:28-30) because his burden is easy and light. Peter would exhort us to cast our burdens to the Lord, for he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Peter’s exhortation echoes the words of the Psalmist who reminds us that, “…as we cast our burdens to the Lord, he will sustain us so that we are not moved” (Psalm 55:22). It can be hard to surrender in times of pain and suffering but that is the best time to do so; when our hearts are weak, exposed, and susceptible to confusion. Surrender that pain to the Lord, he can bear it so that you don’t have to.
T- TRUST
The other thing we need to do is trust in God’s plan. Now, this can be hard to do since death is not one of those things we look forward to or wait patiently for. We like to discuss timing regarding the good things we expect from God. However, the fact is that death is one of the inevitable things that happen, and it occurs at the time foreknown by God (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Nothing that happens on earth catches God by surprise, nor do the heavens regret it. Everything happens at its own time. The life we live on earth is by faith and trust, and not by sheer will power, personal prowess or effort. In times of grief, rest assured that God knows whatever you are going through, regardless of the pain it has caused you. He is faithful and he will be with you, even as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:-4-6). We may not have answers for everything, but we can trust God to guide us through this dark path.
R- RELY
Thirdly, we need to rely on God’s strength to take us through this season of life. Yes. Mourning is a season and, like every season, it will have an end (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11). We are commanded not to put our trust in the arm of flesh, for it will fail us (Psalm 73:26, Jeremiah 17:5). The words of the great old hymn echo this thought best: ‘the arm of flesh will fail you, you dare not trust your own.’ The Psalmist makes this confession, too: that the Lord is his strength and shield (Psalm 28:7). Why should we rely on the Lord for strength? Because we are weak in and of ourselves. Death sucks all the life within us and causes us to be desperately vulnerable. Instead of falling into the trap of blaming God and running away from him during times of grief, may we run to him instead. God is dependable and aware of our pain; he can well handle our most profound emotional needs (Isaiah 41:10, 13, 46:3-4, Psalm 68:19).
O- OPEN
Fourthly, we must open our hearts to healing and restoration. Mourning is an unavoidable part of the journey through loss. In scripture, men and women mourned their loved ones. King David mourned his son Absalom, Joseph mourned his father, Jacob, for his son, and Naomi mourned her husband and sons. These examples demonstrate that grief is a natural human experience, as seen in the Bible (2 Samuel 18:33, Genesis 50:1-21, 37:35, Job 1:20, John 11:35, Exodus 33:4). However, they did not remain in the state of mourning because God walked with them and gave them the encouragement they needed to pull through such times.
We must allow ourselves to receive the Lord’s ministry during tough times so that we do not grow roots of bitterness. Scripture calls him the Lord of all comfort, who comforts us in our grief (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Not only does he comfort us, but he also offers us healing and restoration as we journey with him (Psalm 147:3, 34:18, Isaiah 61:1, Revelation 21:4). If we run to God in times of sorrow, we shall experience his healing progressively. Tough as grief may be, if we open ourselves to the Lord’s working, he can make the path easier as the days go by.
N- NEW MERCIES
As we walk with God in these moments of pain and sorrow, we learn that he constantly gives new mercies every morning (Lamentations 3:21-23). Mercy is God’s goodness expressed to us, helping us face otherwise challenging and difficult times that would have drowned us. In the book of Lamentations, the prophet is reminded of God’s ability to sustain them through the most difficult times, ensuring they are not consumed by despair. The pain of death can drown us and cause us to feel like we are defeated and without hope, but God gives us new mercies, new opportunities to trust and walk with him daily. While we may desire to know fully what the Lord has in store for us, God promises to work things out for us every morning. He assures us that he has tomorrow covered and that we can trust him to sustain us without fail. Run to the merciful and gracious arms of God during this time of grieving and find him faithful to hold you through it all.
G- GOD’S GRACE
Finally, as grief lingers, our merciful God calls us to lean on his grace to carry us through the difficult times. Daunting as it may seem, God is still actively involved in our lives during seasons of grief and sorrow. Paul writes that when he had the thorn in the flesh, he had requested that it be removed. However, God’s assurance was simply that his grace was sufficient for him (2 Corinthians 12:9). God’s grace is his ability to sustain us through challenges with his strength and power. We can see God’s grace when he gives us gifts beyond our merit, even in times of need. Paul implores us to focus on Christ in our times of anxiety, and in him we shall find peace that surpasses all human understanding (Philippians 4:6-7). Grace is God’s undeserved help in our most challenging moments. It lifts when we can’t stand, comforts when tears won’t stop, and points us to hope when life feels empty. In Christ, we find comfort in grief and a Savior who never leaves.
If you are grieving, may you find the everlasting embrace of Christ to carry you and hold you fast. He has never forsaken anyone who called on him. He is the good shepherd who walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4-6) till we make it to the other side. Trust in him!