This was potentially the most asked question throughout all the youth camps and youth programs that I attended in my younger years, amusing how I say younger years as I am still quite young. But still today it remains a quite pertinent question amongst young people. God designed us in such a way to yearn for companionship and this desire ultimately was to be fulfilled in marriage. But what exactly do we do until then with all these raging hormones in our bodies?
Is it okay to kiss without making out ? Is it okay to just make out ? I mean is it okay if you do anything and everything EXCEPT having sex and going all the way ?
Well, the Bible is quite clear on matters sexuality. There are verses such as “It is the Lords will that you be sanctified, that you avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3) and “ There must not be even a hint of sexual immorality amongst you” (Ephesians 5:3). Let me focus on the latter. A hint. Not even a hint. Seems quite radical, but that is exactly what we are to do, because sexual sin is not any other sin, it is a sin that hurts your body. But how can we achieve this ? It seems like a rather unrealistic expectation on the outside.
It all boils down to our purity and what we let in our minds as well as being practical. Nothing good ever comes from Netflix and chill with your girlfriend on the couch at 11pm. However, I don’t want this to be a list of dos and don’ts, that was just an example. If you fill your mind with pornography, romanticized ideas from love songs, and all you watch is romantic movies and all you talk about is expressing your love physically then that is exactly what you will do when you get the opportunity. Instead I’d charge us all to continue to fill our minds with the word of God so that when we are tempted we have the tools to helps us avoid, conquer and escape.
At the end of the day, purity is not in our actions, it is in our minds. There are two “animals” in us, our flesh and the Holy Spirit (assuming you’re born again). Which one wins ? The one that you feed. Listen to beneficial music and read and memorize the word of God, be transformed by the Word from the inside out. For me the question of how far is too far should not exist because the Bible is clear on how to have a God honoring relationship.
In my experience purity is one of the fundamental things behind a beautiful relationship both with God and with your fellow man. I’m not saying that you will be perfect, you’re human and that’ll not change. Don’t try to frustrate what was not meant to be frustrated by saying you will only do some stuff but you know where to stop. It can be compared to driving at 100kph towards a cliff but saying you’ll brake at the last minute, it simply does not work that way. But at the end, I’d challenge all of us, hold yourself accountable to God standards not “good” standards.